Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

My heart skips a beat then causes knots in my stomach
My mind races and takes from me the energy I need to succeed
My hands shake more than before as I notice how much you balanced me
You held my hand

My body feels weak as it remembers who I no longer am and can no longer embrace
No lie yes my pride is hurt but I have little pride to open up to  you and just be me
I made mistakes, we made mistakes but I know I need and want to change to be your B
And I know how much you love me

My days are really hard to understand what do I do, where do I go and who can I give my happy energy to
I get lost in the moments of you being so sweet so supportive and the moments  of seeing you’re gorgeous smile, feeling your warmth and being best friends

The future I envisioned is now missing from my vision, remember I said I want to spend as much of life with you as I can! The small things the big things you have done  to support me, love me and bring me such joy all the worries would dissipate

I know what my errors were and how they continued after promises they wouldn’t. I am human as you are and we often would act or do similar things. We are a lot the same, come on we both cover our eyes during the gruesome parts of moves and TV.

No woman can compare or make me feel how important it was to have you as my girlfriend…an honor actually. I zone out on our super fun days from doing nothing to a beach far away. Then you started beating me in bowling it was still fun and our thing.

I have after searching no happier feeling than making you happy and excel in life. I want to see you fly and reach all the things you thought you couldn’t because I know you cam.

But yes love I am sad, I have to wake up without you and rush to start my day so I don’t stay in bed

They always say time will make these feelings pass. So is it wrong of me to not want them to pass, to not want to love anyone but you?

So maybe it’s you that needs to teach and help me, I’ve spent much time asking everyone but only you know. Or do I?

You know who you are and my wish is we don’t lose each other when finding each other was hard enough.

“Just let me be great, let me be great.” – Jay Z F.U.T.W

Last week like many days in my business life something didn’t go exactly how I wanted it to and I got truly upset. It was early in the day but I needed to just go home and hide and take in what happened and yes do a bit of sulking.

I have been an entrepreneur since 20 years old when I started my first company a call center that pivoted to a data list broker and multi compiler. Business has been my college, my personal life and my source of great energy. Up until my most recent start up Gocella all of my companies were funded by myself and business partner Sev, also my best friend since I was 17 and we are still at it together.

Even Gocella was 1.5 years funded by us until we were introduced to Ryan Moore at Atlas venture who decided to lead a round that we didn’t even have planned…real boot-strappers. Smart guy : ) Thanks Ryan and Atlas and all our investors, rest assured we are building and working from the brain and the heart.

So yes I take it all personally I don’t know how not to because I feel that is what drives my passion to create successful companies and happy clients. I want everything I do to be great and that takes more than a brain and innovation…it takes heart. Well things involving our hearts are very personal.

I do know this makes things at times more difficult, overwhelming and quite exhausting. However it’s my formula and I refuse to change it, no matter how much sleep I lose sometimes, or tears I shed, or worries I create and amplify. It’s who I am and it is the way I am outside of work as well.

I want to not only make my clients happy but my friends, family and the special person in my life. All the same side effects though come with being so personal and unfiltered in my personal life just like I mention in business.

What if I didn’t take it all personally? I would feel like I wasn’t giving my all and if I didn’t have my heart in something and also I would feel like I was lying to myself, to people, prospects, investors, clients, friends and loved ones. This I will not do. My principles on lying are pretty crazy…yes I get the whole white lie thing but I just hope if I stick to this code, this formula, well it will come back to me from others.

Taking things personally means caring, appreciating, being grateful and trying my hardest to do great work, be a good person and you know what just being great. Let’s be great!

I try more now to at least not amplify the little things that happen to all of us, I try to let go so I can move on and make something else work out versus focusing on the negative or unexpected “let down”

But no matter what it’s all personal, it’s my life and it all affects me. Unfortunately I need to remind myself more often that I am not the only one going through these types of emotions and giving my all at any risk necessary…I am getting a little better at this from the help of great friends.

So the way I see it is, take it personally and people will know you really care, you really want to  be happy and make others happy and I don’t know how that can be done without putting your heart into your work and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

So for those that feel the same way, live the same way and struggle because of it…I say keep up with the struggle, confide in great friends and trusted advisers because in my opinion nothing will ever be great without someone’s heart being on the line and involved.

Take it personal, it’s your life we are talking about here it’s how you want people to view you and trust you.

Trust is what it’s all about!

So again let’s be great!

“There’s always a very good reason and there’s always a real reason.”

“When people give you their bullshit reason for doing something always assume they are giving you a good reason but not the real reason.”

Quotes by James Altucherwww.jamesaltucher.com

I am going to keep giving the real reason to everyone every time in hopes to receive the same!

Twitter: @jaltucher

By:  James Altucher

His best Book!

Purchase Here: http://goo.gl/CgXHl

I was wondering:

  • Should I send this text now
  • Should I send an email to question timing on a deal
  • Should I respond to an email just because the person is influential and wants to meet with me
  • Should I schedule the meeting even though I know the outcome is something I don’t want
  • Should I send flowers yet or again
  • Should I  delay launch again because I’m afraid I don’t have the best product ready
  • Should I wait for her to call or text me first
  • Should I apologize every time I feel guilty about not getting back to someone sooner
  • Should I…

Yup I know this list can go on and on and it’s a daily list we go through personally and professionally everyday and we all have one!

I don’t have to do much I’m an entrepreneur… I could wake up late, miss a meeting, take a day off to spend with my special someone, play pinball, I could send every call to voice mail, I could ignore any email I want and I can stop time that’s my super power. Well the real power and freedom is knowing I can do all of these things so I work that much harder on my life and my work.

However I will not progress, I will not beat my competition, my company won’t grow, I will fail, but I succeed and fight the fight because I know if I really wanted to I could stop time for a moment and all can be ok. This freedom is a gift that I must use wisely and share with only the most special people and parts of my life.

So how do we decide what we should do, I have thought about this a lot and sought advice from many but my friend James really broke it down to me by enhancing Einstein’s law of relativity to his own law to be announced by him. James and I agree a lot in business I’m his protege and business partner but more importantly his friend. I respect his advice.

Choosing whose advice to follow in life is very difficult in business and personal so I came up with my own rules on whose advice to listen closely to and sometimes follow. Also keeping in mind advice from others can be just a piece to of the advice we need to give ourselves.

Business Advice: This one is a bit easier for me because it’s more mathematical:

  1. What has the person done right and wrong in their career?
  2.  Do they admit and embrace their errors more than their accomplishments?
  3. What experience do they have on the topic or problem I need advice with?
  4. Knowing the difference between someone bragging versus just using a past experience as an example?
  5. What do they have to gain by giving me this advice?

Personal Advice: Comes down to just a few MAJOR rules/questions I have:

  1. My relationship with this person and how we have been there for each other over time?
  2. Never listen to any advice when someone says, you better take my advice
  3. When someone says, you don’t have to take my advice I am just trying to help
  4. When someone says, I know you are probably not going to take my advice but…
  5. When someone says, here is my advice but you will and need to do what is right for you and no matter what you do I will support you

The gut…what does that mean, do we grab our stomach and ask it what to do, do we wait until we think about something so much we throw  up and then boom there is the answer in the toilet bowl we are hugging?

My gut is my heart and every day I look closely at what I do to see if I followed my heart’s  guide me and then look at the outcome of all those things all those “shoulds” and how it made me feel emotionally and physically.

It is tough the anxiety that comes with this way of following your heart. My heart knows my brain well they have been working together a long time so I trust them. My decisions now come from a conversation between my heart and my brain that turns into heated arguments sometimes as my heart fears nothing sees no risk and my brain is concerned with emotions and how that may affect me, in the end they are both trying to protect me.

Emotions are tough, smiles, tears, butterflies in our stomach and fear sometimes all at once.

I feel so tough saying this as if I can handle any emotion and just move on…total opposite I am nervous wreck, I worry about my list of shoulds, I worry if people like me, I worry if I can’t close a deal in time, I pace for hours at times to think of all these things I can’t control but need to understand, I stay awake for hours worrying about other people, finances, product, family and love. This is because I care and when I am passionate about something or someone I must give my all…my best.

I am able to keep a lot of these emotions to myself or oddly feel they are meant for someone special to only know about so I can either scare them away or feel safe that they know my crazy side and still like me. So they can be the same with me and feel safe that I appreciate even their crazy side.

We are all “crazy”, we are all afraid of our feelings and we all just want to be loved for who we are…we all bleed.

My heart guides all of me and with my brain helps me have spirit so I can feel the decisions I make, so I can take risks to be me, so I can show the right people the right parts of me so I can obtain freedom and share it.

After 38 years I thought nothing could feel that new I was wrong everything is new everyday so treat your first like your last and your last like your first.

Listen to your heart and argue with yourself, you know you better than anyone.

It doesn’t take very long when someone gets to know me a bit to learn I’m pretty unfiltered and honest about just about anything…I hope this is a good thing.

So recently more people are telling me I look happy, I’m smiling more.

If you remember the Patch Adams film with Robin Williams there is a great scene when he is testing and demonstrating his smile theory:

As Patch and Truman wander around smiling and greeting strangers, we as viewers smile, too.

patch

For some time I had been extra sensitive about letting anyone into the inner circle of me, we have all been there when someone has hurt us, betrayed us, or just turned out to not be the person we thought they were, or things just didn’t work out and the hurt that comes from this discovery. A hurt that feels like it may never go away. This is not just in a relationship it could be anything we had high hopes and expectations about and it didn’t turn out positive, things just didn’t work out.

I wasn’t sure how much time it would take or what it would take to allow me to open up and listen to my heart versus being so over protective of myself and not having the opportunity to let someone be closer to me and for me to enjoy me more. Then it happened and It was a smile!

Well that’s where it started and now is still one of the biggest reasons I have opened up to caring aout and trusting someone. I know just a smile doesn’t seem to be enough but there is more to a smile than one immediately thinks. So much more.

Her smile melted me, then her kiss opened me.

For me in the beginning it was the ability to see her smile with just a close of my eyes, then it was being able to feel the sincerity of her smile and how much more it was saying, most importantly when someone smiles and looks you in your eyes they are telling you something only meant for your eyes and heart…it’s doesn’t need to be said.  There is a special connection forming when this starts happening it’s usually when you realize you care about this person, how they feel, if they are OK  if they are happy, you want to make them happier, you want them to know you care.

I’m not saying two people need to be falling head over heels in love, could be dating, seeing each other or some other kinda label to have this connection this could be just a moment, but a moment that you want to last for as long as you choose to want to keep smiling, be happy and trust. Two people can form their own unique relationship around just being happy on each other’s personal terms and honesty no rules need apply. Just keep making each other smile inside and out.

I’m happier and I’m smiling more and happy with me and I notice other parts of my life family, friends, and work are progressing and evolving all positively. I hope it’s for the simple reason of I’m smiling and someone is smiling at me, because it can and should be that simple we don’t have to over complicate it.

My work is a major part of my life and my time so it’s usually the people I work with that pick up quickly that I wear my heart on my sleeve and I hope notice that I do this so that it defines me and I am someone who can be trusted and stand behind my words.

“You must look inside you, Sure books can guide you, But your heart defines you” Jay Z

I’m not exactly walking into meetings and anywhere with a kool-aid smile on my face…I’m smiling inside as well, that for me is when I know I’m really happy with me and feel I can accomplish so much more and give so much more of me to someone special, my loved ones, good friends and the things in life that enjoy my happiness and I look forward to making happy. This is part of my own personal definition of feeling successful.

As Mary Poppins said,  “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”

mpoppins

Life is work, we work to be smarter, to have more freedom, to be successful however we define success, we work to make the people we care about know how much we care, and we work on being a better us. We can choose to have fun doing this and see the fruits of our labors in our smiles and the smiles we inspire in others.

We should stay open minded and have an open heart for the smiles around us from that special someone, friends, family and total strangers and the moment that you notice the smile you can immediately feel a need to smile and feel good things in your life with that smile. Call it smile inspiration, get and give smile inspiration and good things come, anxieties and worries will go away and you get to enjoy YOU more and more.

So thank you, you know who you are bella!

So Facebook is not effective although nearly 60% of FB users click on ads, over 3 million brand pages are there, it is the largest data bureau in the world. Study: Nearly half of Facebook users never click ads

GM to Stop Advertising on Facebook – was GM really advertising in Facebook?

Missing communications and social context.

Especially when slightly comparing it to the GM website

And now the Super Bowl is too expensive even with massive traditional and digital media reach as well as a wide and engaged audience…

GM drops out of Super Bowl advertising

Message to who, with what goal and how can reaction be expected here that would lead to engagement, word of mouth, or sales lift?

Advertising is now more dynamic than ever so I agree budgets, creative and marketing communications should move with the engagement and the goals faster. However for a brand like GM that has the budgets for Super Bowl and mass community management I think the decisions being made are not dynamic just drastic.

If GM were to  run a Super Bowl ad that led to an engagement campaign and reduced spending in other areas that are not as measurable, success could come possibly in a short period of time.

TV is still a huge advertising channel but for who and for what and why is what we need to know before planning a TV campaign for a client, especially with the reach, relevance and engagement available to us with digital video.

We really now have the exciting opportunities to iterate, personalize, and optimize ads based upon real human behavior and opinion via socnet. The data is enormous now but the data is enormous now, so that said I think the key is paying close attention to optimize all media up and down the marketing funnel, “arbing” properly the creative, content, context, media and goal.

Our minds are like parachutes, they only work when they are open, and allow freedom of thought minus the fears.

Think prospect relationship management is what I tell  my clients, try not to crash the dinner party get invited, deliver a message that is more natural, use the social windows properly and combine them with traditional media and methods.

GM There is plenty of opportunity for you here and I am glad to see a brand like you being sensitive to spends that is smart but try not to lose sight and focus on the “long tail.”

PS – I wouldn’t hide any cars in some odd place and try to get people to find them and don’t think more celebrity power, think influence, reach and seduction.

There is plenty of opportunity to be effective right down to the dealer and point of purchase level with engaging, efficient, unique, and seductive marketing communications. The data can lead you there.

 

Also published here: GM vs. Facebook by Brian Rice – The Fearless Group Blog – contributor