Being Grateful…I am still really learning

Posted: November 24, 2011 in Posts
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite “holiday,” for many reasons here are a few:
– At least one day we are all tasked with looking at positive versus negative and researching what in our lives we should be grateful for
– A holiday that doesn’t burden us with over commercialization and pressures of finance that take from the meaning in our hearts
– It’s on a Thursday and gives me a few days off from work (this reason kicked in after starting to work full time at 18)
– The opportunity to help others find or be given something to be grateful for
– Seeing all my family and hearing how their year has been and what’s making them happy versus what they would change which seems to be the topic of New Year’s
– The lessons I have learned are usually more clear to me the morning of Thanksgiving
– I find internally and externally many reasons and thoughts to calm my everyday worries that create anxiety and fear

There are more but these are the dearest to  me.

Some years back my business partner and I launched Operation Feed NY which started feeding a few shelters and developed into shelters in 3 states…this is not self promotion. I miss being involved in this but once it grew my passion was having to be run like a business with all the politics of business attached to it.

Operation Feed NY also required seeing less of my family for the holiday and working double time for 3 weeks before. Sacrifices not really…I loved what we were aiming to accomplish and the folks we were helping. It was my priority.

Now I look back and sometimes feel that I myself didn’t know how to see and be grateful for many things and I looked and received much happiness by experiencing that through others less fortunate  as well as dedicated supporters of the cause to end hunger. But I was missing something here.

Does that mean I was taking my blessings for granted? Was I or have I been ignorant to how blessed I have been? Have I been so self involved at times I expected too much and didn’t learn what to be thankful for?

Due to bureaucracy, financial changes, and more I have not been active in the fight against hunger and homelessness in my area for a couple of years and I miss it. However I think I have since started really looking deeper into my life for what to be grateful for good and bad, not just things that met or exceeded my original expectations.

I work a lot, this is not bragging at all. I work so much my mind drifts into work when I am not working and well this causes me to enter a zone that I have been told removes my mind completely from my physical place at times. I worry because my lover has told me she feels I am not paying attention or being concerned enough about our life and world as a priority, “you are not here right now, where are you Brian?”

I do love her so much and she brings much joy to me, my family, and all the lives around her. Her entire life she has been receiving joy by helping others, putting the concerns of everyone she cares for in front of her own personal concerns and passionately working at delivering happiness. She is so dedicated to this very rarely do I believe she realizes how amazing she is and how much good she brings to others lives, mine so included.

Last night I had a dream I was hanging with Bill Gates just chopping it up and I really kept asking so many questions about his career and the foundation and how he has handled it all. I will talk more about this another time because it is the most interesting dream to date I have remembered.
But through the dream he kept giving so much credit to the love and support of his wife, from what I remember each answer from software to antitrust to education and health included “my wife” and/or “my family”

What was this dream telling me…this is my life too and expressing the gratitude for my love and her support and my family is something no matter how many times I have done it, it’s not enough!
I hope to eliminate all the ungrateful behavior that goes on in my world because I watch the love of my life pay no mind to that and continue to be grateful for the littlest things that I would normally take for granted.

I have learned many things from many people and continue to but I am blessed to have an amazing teacher right here at home so I may learn more and more how to be grateful and embrace the blessings of what I may overlook or have taken for granted. I feel more love for her as I concentrate and execute on this so it’s a win win :  )!

I am so grateful to have her in my life and for her love for me, I know I even make that a challenge. It’s the very thought of her that brings me love and joy!

Happy Thanksgiving

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